Family Struggles? Remember the Parable of the Prodigal Son.

Thanksgiving is a time of gratitude and a time for family. Children all over the country—some still in college and others much older—travel to their parents’ homes. But for many people, anticipating family gatherings can be more stressful than comforting. Countless questions may arise: “What will I say to my cousin who was a jerk to me as a kid?” “Will I have to listen to Dad hint that he’s disappointed in me?” “How should I interact with my sister who’s involved with things I don’t believe in?”

This season of coming home may be the perfect time to remember the tale of another homecoming—one that teaches some of the scriptures’ greatest lessons about family relationships. Jesus’ parable of the prodigal son can help us know how to best maneuver difficulties in our families.

The story starts with a man’s younger son asking for his inheritance. This was quite a presumptuous request; normally, a son’s inheritance wouldn’t be given until his father had died. But this father gave his son his inheritance early, anyway. Christ has always taught us that we should do more for people than is easy or required—after all, that’s how God shows His love for us. So when your niece asks for gluten-free stuffing or your parents beg you to watch embarrassing home videos for two hours, comply if you can. When you say “Yes,” your family members hear, “I love you.”

Clearly, the father in the parable was concerned for his son. The fact that he saw the son while he “was yet a great way off” hints that the father had probably been watching the horizon for months and praying for his son’s safe return. Maybe our chats with family every Thanksgiving will feel more sincere if we take an interest in our loved ones’ lives all year round. Even little things—such as liking a Facebook post, writing a letter, or saying a prayer—can show a family member that we really care.

The son in Christ’s parable “came to himself” and recognized his sins. He asked for his father’s forgiveness, and his father gave it immediately. Easier said than done. Family members do things to hurt and anger each other, and some wounds are very deep. But we can always forgive. How? Like the father in the parable of the prodigal son, we can have compassion. That may require putting ourselves in a family member’s shoes, assuming good intent, and praying for help, but it is possible, and it can make family reunions a lot less awkward.

“Hold on,” someone might say. “My family member is still doing things that I don’t think are okay. I don’t want to support that kind of lifestyle.” While parents may occasionally need to counsel or warn one of their children, calling someone to repentance isn’t generally our job. Our job is to focus on the good in people and help them feel loved. If a father could kill a fatted calf to celebrate his wayward son’s return, we should be able to eat some turkey with family members we disagree with.

When he saw the party being thrown for his rebellious brother, the older brother in the parable complained that his father had never done anything similar for him, the faithful son. But the father gently reminded his eldest that no one had been cheated. The elder son still had his inheritance. We often convince ourselves that our parents play favorites, that some people have life too easy, or that we aren’t treated right. Isn’t it better to focus on how good God is to us and enjoy our family while we have the chance?

Finally, the end of Christ’s parable of the prodigal son finds the father reminding his eldest, “It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad”. The father focused not on the famine in the land, his youngest son’s sins, or his wasted goods, but on the fact that the family was together and safe. We, too, can choose to feel and spread gratitude. We can be a peacemaker in our families and help everyone feel happy to be together.

Maybe family time isn’t always fun or relaxing to you. Maybe your family has issues that you’re not sure you can handle. But God can help you know how to love your family members better and make this Thanksgiving a day of joy. So say a prayer, eat some pie, and remember Christ’s parable of the prodigal son. You’ll be grateful you did.