10 Ways to Get NOTHING out of General Conference

General Conference is only a couple of weeks away, but preparing for it is so last year. Check out a few of our favorite ways to keep yourself from learning or loving anything from General Conference.

  1. Plan a huge event for the same weekend. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as you could do it whenever you want to but choose to do it instead of General Conference. You can’t enjoy Conference if you don’t participate, right?
  2. Save the week’s tasks until Conference is ready to start. Laundry? Grocery shopping? Homework? Don’t do any of it during the week. Getting those things out of the way would give you too much time and energy to focus on Conference.
  3. Stay up super late on Friday and Saturday. This is the best time of the year to goof off until 3:00 in the morning. That way you’ll either sleep through all of General Conference or have a hard time feeling the Holy Ghost.
  4. Never put your phone or other devices away. Even if you’re in the same room with a TV that’s playing General Conference, you won’t absorb a single word if you’re scrolling through Instagram or playing a video game the entire time.
  5. Use each talk as a weapon to beat yourself up with. Ignore the encouraging messages from the Holy Ghost and spend the entire Conference thinking about all the ways you’re not measuring up. That will make the weekend painful instead of uplifting.
  6. Focus on what you hate about the speakers. You’ve never liked the way that apostle phrases things, and that sister’s smile looks fake. If you become preoccupied with these people’s weaknesses, you’ll miss anything of value that they have to say.
  7. Keep all paper and writing utensils out of sight. General Conference could be the perfect opportunity for the Holy Ghost to give you specific guidance or answers, so whatever you do, don’t write any of your thoughts or feelings down.
  8. Look for reasons to be offended. This should be a breeze, since Church leaders are great at saying things that the world would disagree with or that you don’t want to hear. It’s easier to get angry than to admit that you may need to change.
  9. Ignore the hymns and prayers. Make sure to get up for a snack or start a loud conversation every time someone says a prayer or the choir starts to sing. The Spirit can testify very strongly in those moments, but only if you’re listening.
  10. Never study the Conference talks again. You can learn much more from the talks if you study them again after they’ve been published. So don’t download the next Ensign onto your phone or look up the videos again online, no matter how easy it is.

Did our reverse psychology work? 🙂 Most of us have probably been guilty of a few of these things in the past, and the results probably haven’t been helpful. But we can choose to do better! We hope this list gave you a laugh, but more that, we hope it has helped you want to prepare for General Conference and love it when it comes.

 

Photos found from  Leighann Renee, Jaelynn Castillo,Thought Catalog, and lds.org.

2 thoughts on “10 Ways to Get NOTHING out of General Conference”

  1. The reverse psychology was fun to read – and, oh, I recognized myself! I’m making a list today, to make sure I don’t fool myself again during this General Conference. Thank you very much.

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